Love Client No9

Love Client Nbr. 9 – The Elliot Spitzer Song.

                (With apologies to The Coasters)


I took my johnson down to Mother Ruth

        You know that hooker with the gold-capped tooth

She runs a house down on thirty-fourth and Vine

        Where she’s been looking for

                             Love Client No 9.


I told her I’m a flop with chicks

           I’ve been this way since 1996

She looked at my shlong and made a magic sign

            She said “You’re gonna be my

                                 Love Client Nbr. 9.”


She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink

          She said “I’ll grab my ankles right here in the sink”


It smelled like rotting fish!

It looked like India ink!

A great big ass!

A hairy mass!

Oh what a stink!


I started banging everything in sight

          I told Ruthie that her shit worked right

But when I sent her money on the telephone line

          The Feds went and busted

                                 Love Client Nbr. 9


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