Love Client Nbr. 9 – The Elliot Spitzer Song.
(With apologies to The Coasters)
I took my johnson down to Mother Ruth
You know that hooker with the gold-capped tooth
She runs a house down on thirty-fourth and Vine
Where she’s been looking for
Love Client No 9.
I told her I’m a flop with chicks
I’ve been this way since 1996
She looked at my shlong and made a magic sign
She said “You’re gonna be my
Love Client Nbr. 9.”
She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink
She said “I’ll grab my ankles right here in the sink”
It smelled like rotting fish!
It looked like India ink!
A great big ass!
A hairy mass!
Oh what a stink!
I started banging everything in sight
I told Ruthie that her shit worked right
But when I sent her money on the telephone line
The Feds went and busted
Love Client Nbr. 9