A Possible Solution


To hear Paul Ryan go on about it, America is chock-a-block with parasitic welfare recipients and moochers. Well, it’s not as bad as the Speaker would have us believe, but it is a problem.  But the problem lies in human propensities not money.

Years ago, I was a Guardian ad Litem (a.k.a. Court Appointed Special Advocate) out here in Washington. We are apostles for children who are victims of abuse and neglect.  I won’t get into a full description here, but if you want to know more, go to http://snohomishcountywa.gov/881/VGAL-program and read all about it.

All of us in programs like the Guardians ad Litem see that:

  1. The vast preponderance of children who are abused and neglected come from impoverished parents.
  2. The parents are unschooled and ignorant and are satisfied with the situation. This, of course, explains the poverty.
  3. Many parents are of low IQ.  Like one of my colleagues said, “They’re as dumb as dirt”.
  4. Over 50% of the parents are felons and junkies who are incapable of looking after their own selves, let alone their children. Of the remaining 50%, most are simply felons and junkies who haven’t yet been caught.  This includes booze and tobacco.
  5. A few have, or keep, jobs.  Most don’t work.
  6. These children’s lives are truly horrifying. They live with beatings, starvation, rapes and an utter and complete lack of love and concern.
  7. Almost all of these children were unplanned and are unwanted.

By the time we see these kids, most are so bent out of shape by their home lives that they carry the baggage with them into adulthood and, in turn, foist it on their own children.  As the old saying has it, “As the twig is bent, so grows the tree” so the phenomenon of multi-generational poverty continues in an unending concatenation.

Surely the Speaker’s ire does not extend to the poor devil who came down with a grody, incapacitating disease a week before his employer unexpectedly folded up. If this poor wretch and his family are not to be put out on the street to sleep under a bridge until death takes him, he’ll need general assistance, food stamps, Medicaid and perhaps more. If simple pity doesn’t move us to provide these things out of our taxes, surely the prospect that this person will soon be back to work as a”contributing member of society” should settle the issue.

Now Speaker Ryan, being a good conservative, measures everything by loss or gain. Money rules.  Parsimony is his watchword, with cruelty coming in a close second.  Well, I have a plan that will satisfy the Speaker’s thirst for thrift while at the same time, putting an end to the woeful cycle of poverty.  It’s quite simple, really.  Here it is: Give each poor person, man or woman, whither or not they’ve been dragged into the child welfare system, $20,000, cash money, to be surgically sterilized. Tubal legation for her, vasectomy for him, all expenses paid.  After the operations, each gets to spend the night in a special low-intensity ward of a hospital where they’ll also get a nutritious dinner and breakfast.  In the morning, as soon as the doctor says they are ready to go, each is handed an envelope containing the promised 20-grand. If the man and woman are a pair, with or without benefit of clergy, they get to take home $40,000 to squander as they please.  Not bad.

An Aside: As this cohort of parents are mostly drunks and junkies, $20,000 will buy all the booze and dope they could ever want.  Consequently, there will be many overindulgences which will result in death, further reducing the numbers of people on welfare.

Gad.  Just think of the savings.  According to the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/18/cost-of-raising-a-child_n_5688179.html), the cost of raising an American child to age eighteen is $304,480 (adjusted for inflation) so that $20,000 or $40,000 looks pretty cheap, No?  And let’s not forget all the government services the issue of their loins will require: Special Ed. nutrition programs, psychologists and, for some, cells in the juvenile detention center. We save on those too.

Of course, this $20,000 will not prevent the conception and birth of just one child, it will prevent the conception and birth of many as these kinds of people breed like flies.  From my experience in the Guardian ad Litem program, such “families” usually produce three children so the savings to the taxpayer will be almost a million dollars.  Think on that for a moment.  Almost a million bucks!  And no more underclass!!

Of course this proposal will outrage the politically correct.  They will see it as an affront to humanity.  But these days, political correctness is out the window so this proposal should have no trouble being put into law.  Speaker Ryan will be pleased.

Now let’s turn for a brief moment to theology for many of the churched will object to this plan.  They maintain the Grand Realm is packed to overflowing with little souls chomping at the bit to have a life here on Earth.  I think if we could be flies on the wall, we might hear something like this:

Little Soul: Angel, dearest. When do I get to go down to Earth?

Angel: Well, I don’t have any gestating fetuses right now.  I was thinking Bill and Betty Tosspot might by ready to get a bun in the oven, but they each took the twenty-thousand simoleons and got fixed, so . . .

Little Soul: But Angel, why would they do that?  Don’t they know I want to be born on Earth?

Angel: Perhaps, but I think you should consider yourself lucky.  Bill Tosspot takes his belt to his two other kids at least once a week. A while back, he put out a cigarette on one kid’s cheek.  As for Betty, she gets falling-down drunk at least once a week and the kids have to call 9-1-1- before she comes to grief.  Besides, she turns her tricks on the living room couch, and you don’t want to see that.

Little Soul: Oh.  Well.  OK . . .  Maybe I’ll just run along and play for a while?  If you ever find a vacant fetus that’ll be born to people in a nice gated community, will you let me know?

Angel: Sure thing, kid.  Have fun.

-Merlin-

 

 

 

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